3/18/97

Shortly after releasing the "Squirrel Hazing" expose, we noticed that our cats were also engaging in some very disturbing rituals. As a result, our next project will be "Cat Cults And Covens": an expose about the seedy underworld of occultism and catnip. We will be posting our findings as soon as the pictures are developed.

As you have pointed out, ritualized abuse doesn't seem to be limited to just humans and squirrels:

Dogs have been witnessed drinking beer, wine coolers, and other malt liquors until they vomit and/or urinate on themselves (perhaps a sign of ritualized alcohol abuse and/or fraternity-style hazing)

Roving gangs of Blue jays have been witnessed engaging in fly-by attacks to their mortal enemies -- the Cardinals (gang color discrimination and/or turf wars are suspected)

Rabbits have been witnessed tearing and biting the ears of other rabbits in their warren, which may be a form of body-marking (not unlike the body-branding or body-piercing one might find in human gangs)

Cats have been witnessed gathering in large groups at night to snort "cat-nip"**, sing, dance, and fornicate under the evening sky. Occasionally, dead animals are found at the scenes of these gatherings (ritualized animal sacrifices are suspected)

**"Cat-nip abuse has increased 170% since 1992.