4/16/97

Good theory! You see, one of the many speculative theories about the long term effects of Peanut Oil* abuse is that a permanent change in visual perception occurs with prolonged use. Tragically, this trait is often passed on to the offspring of "oilies", which seems to indicate that the damage caused by Peanut Oil* abuse is permanent.

Currently, our country does not allow the study of the effects of Peanut Oil* abuse on squirrels and the squirrel population. Until such studies are allowed to be performed, there will be no way of knowing the exact nature and severity of the long term effects of Peanut Oil* abuse.

P.S. I don't know if this theory can really apply to rabbits. After all, they always eat their vegetables.

*"Peanut Oil" abuse has been linked to 75% of all squirrel hazing deaths.