4/16/97

You have put us to shame. We have also witnessed "Dumpster Diving" on a very regular basis, however we always made the same assumption you initially did: we thought the squirrels were looking for snacks.

Upon receiving your submission, we decided to put your theory to the test. There is a dumpster in the parking lot of our apartment complex that has always been a haven for squirrels. Disguising ourselves as a wayward mattress and box springs, we managed to observe what you had discovered: the squirrels weren't interested in the food. They were taking turns diving onto broken beer bottles! Deliberately! They were all getting cut up to pieces, yet they seemed to take great delight in comparing their "war wounds." By far, this is the most self-abusive form of squirrel hazing witnessed to date.

Thank you for bringing this to our attention.

*"Peanut Oil" abuse has been linked to 75% of all squirrel hazing deaths.